Let’s face the facts: you’re in your 20s now, and you gotta start flirting like it.
From dating apps, to work, to nights out, there’s really no better time to date than in your 20s. You’re independent now, with more control and autonomy over your time, and what you choose to do with it. However, before you sit down for dinner and drinks with a prospective date, it’s important to know how to hook ‘em and secure the coveted second date. And the number one way to do that? Flirting. And doing so correctly.
Long gone are the high school days of sliding up on Snapchat and sliding into Instagram DMs. Now, in your 20s, is the time to flirt like an adult. Not sure where to start? Here are our top four tips so you can learn how to flirt in your 20s.
Tip #1: Your Eyes Are The Key
You know how they say the eyes are the window to the soul? Take this philosophy with you, and know that your eyes hold all of the power when it comes to flirting with a prospective match. Eye contact and purposeful eye-movements are essential, but not exactly the easiest to execute. Luckily, we have some suggestions that make “eye-flirting” foolproof and easy to master.
Relax Your Eyes
When using your eyes, start by relaxing your body. You want to avoid having extremely wide and strained eyes, while also avoiding droopy, sleepy eyes. Instead, settle into yourself and let your eyes–and face–move naturally. Once your face is comfortable and relaxed, you’ll be able to focus more on making intentional eye contact that’s foolproof for flirting.
Once you’re relaxed, you’re ready to put those eyes to good use. When flirting, it’s important to look at your date intentionally. Your eyes can communicate in ways that words cannot, and those subtleties are what makes flirting so fun. When talking to your date, try glancing at their lips for a moment, then meeting their eyes with a slight smile. With no words said, your date will know exactly what you’re thinking and, chances are, they’ll melt right into your palm.
Play Some “Eye-Tag”
If you’re not conversing with a prospective date, and want them to come to you, playing “eye-tag” is one of the most effective, and easiest, ways to flirt. After you make eye contact with the person you choose, smile for a moment, then look away. Your instinct is a powerful thing, so one you feel their eyes back on you, look up at them again. If they’re also feeling a connection, chances are they’ll look away, and wait for you to look away again, and the cycle continues. This type of flirting builds tension–mix some classic “eye-tag” with a smile and a purposeful glance to the lips, and you’ll have them all over you in no time.
Tired of swiping left and right on dating apps with no luck? It’s time to try something new! Check out our latest blog post on “How to Meet Guys In Your 20s” for practical dating advice and unique ideas on where to meet eligible bachelors. Say goodbye to the same old dating routine and hello to new and exciting prospects.
Tip #2: Know The Power Of Body Language
Eyes are important, but your body is another important tool you can use while flirting. While using your eyes to flirt with a prospective match is a more coy, subtle way to show your interest, utilizing the power of body language is both forward and foolproof. And once you know exactly how to use body language to your advantage, you’ll find that it’s one of the best ways to flirt.
Position Yourself In Their Direction
Body language can say loads about your feelings toward a person. Whenever you’re flirting with someone, angle yourself to face them. When sitting, point your knees in their direction if they’re next to you. And, if you’re standing, lean forward when they’re speaking to appear invested in the conversation (which we know you are!). These subtleties in positioning will definitely let your date know that you’re interested.
Initiate Physical Contact
When you’re close to your prospective date, introducing slight and subtle physical contact is one of the best ways to show your interest. This isn’t to say that you have to be all over them: sometimes, even the slightest touch is enough! When sitting, touch your leg against theirs effortlessly, or brush past them lightly as you walk by. Once you’re in conversation, use your touch to your advantage: playfully touching their arm when you laugh, or resting your hand on theirs casually. Just be aware that you should never touch anyone without their consent–feel out the vibes and make sure your prospective date is comfortable and reciprocating.
Tip #3: Know What To Say
Once you’ve mastered the subtleties, it’s time to start talking. And while initiating conversation can seem terrifying, once you know what to say, you’ll find that the words will flow with ease.
For conversations to be organic and comfortable, don’t give into the pressures of boring small-talk. Instead, try to talk about things that are in genuine interest to you! Avoid asking questions that you don’t care to know the answer to, and alternately identify the things that attracted you to them in the first place. Maybe you thought their shirt was cool, or was impressed by their dance moves. Whatever the case may be, lead with genuine interest, and you’ll get it right back.
Compliments Are Always Welcome…Until They’re Not
Who doesn’t like a compliment? While kind words are rarely unappreciated, there is a certain awkwardness that comes with receiving a compliment. Keep this in mind when flirting, and be intentional and sincere with your words. If you come out swinging, armed with compliment after compliment, chances are that you’ll be making your date a bit uncomfortable. Try to sneak in compliments casually–like complimenting their outfit, or they way they speak. The less generic and clique the compliments are–and the more sincere they appear–the more likely your interest will be reciprocated.
Tip #4: Be Confident In Yourself
I know, it’s cliche. But honestly, there is nothing more attractive than a person who is confident, and unapologetically, themselves! After all, if you want someone to like you for you, then what is the use trying to be anything but that?
When flirting, it’s essential to stay true to yourself, and the way that you’re feeling. Sure, it’s okay to be nervous, but don’t let those nerves sabotage you! Be confident in your abilities as a person, and know what makes you unique. Once you have that reassurance in yourself, that confidence will glow from within. That in and of itself is enough to kick off some flirty conversation without even trying!
Dating can be tough, and flirting can be even tougher. And in a time as transitional as your 20s, flirting can be more awkward than ever. However, with these tips in mind, I’m sure you’ll be ready to flirt with a prospective partner comfortably, purposefully, and confidently. Good luck out there, you got this!